Asking Questions About Family History

 

Have you ever wondered about how your grandparents lived?  Or what your parents’ lives were like when they were children?

Some elders in some families share family history or tell stories about themselves or other relatives to willing audiences.  In other families, information is harder to obtain.

Even in families that tell stories about their past or repeat stories told to them about their ancestors, information is missing.

Omissions may be on purpose or merely accidental. Perhaps the story teller didn’t consider the information important. No one asked about that subject, person or place. Sometimes people feel some information is best left in the past. They forgot. They didn’t think you could understand or relate to the information.  Or maybe there just wasn’t enough time to explain it all.

Where do you start though?  Many interviewers have compiled lists of questions for you, and placed them in an article, book, blog post or webinar. The list may range from the top 10 questions to over 100 questions.  Which ones do you choose?

Things to consider in choosing questions

First, stop and consider:  What would you like to know? Why do you want to know it? This will help you rank questions from those most important to you to the least.

• • Maybe you would like to know what your parent’s/grandparent’s life was like as a child,
  • how their school day compared to yours,
  • their favorite color
  • or how they found their first job.

Do you hope to understand a person, an event or time period better? Why?

• • Maybe you’ve noticed family traits and want to know where those traits came from.
  • If you are struggling financially, you may want to know how your parents or someone else in the family coped or stretched their money to get through hard times they experienced.
  • Maybe you want a first hand, eye witness account of an event your elder lived through, such as a pandemic, a war, an invention, their childhood holidays, etc.

Family health histories are always good to know.

Choosing the questions

Make a list of the things you’d like to know.  Modify your list as you think of more questions.

Reviewing one or more lists of suggested questions may spark your curiosity about something you had not considered.

Next, ask yourself why you’d like to know those bits and pieces of information. Rank them from the most important to the least important.

Once you have your list of questions, consider whom you would like to interview.  Your oldest relatives will likely have more information. If your questions are mostly about a specific living person, you might want to start with them, even if they aren’t the oldest relative.

Getting ready to interview your person

Consider how you want to conduct the interview. Do you want to do a formal interview?  Or would you rather have an informal conversation?  Do you want to do it in person? Can you do it in person?  Or would over the phone, a video call, or even a written interview work better? 

While you can ask an impromptu question or two without notice, if you want to conduct an interview or have multiple questions, it is best to contact the person you’d like to interview in advance.  Ask them if they would be willing to be interviewed and what format they would prefer. You may also want to share your list of questions with them.

If they are willing, schedule a time and place to meet. Ask them if they are willing to be recorded via a voice recorder or audiovisual device. Being sensitive to their needs will likely result in a better experience and may help you obtain more information. 

Go back over your list and prioritize your questions. Ask open ended questions, as this will spark discussion.  If you have lots of questions, you may want to break them up into multiple sessions.

If you conduct your interview in person or over the phone, make sure you have a recording instrument with you, be it pen and paper, laptop, or voice recorder.  Have a family history chart or two with you to fill out the names, dates and places of people who come up in the conversation.

Sometimes, the relative you have selected may not be open to an interview at that point in time.  If this happens, try another relative and/or be patient.  The person you’d like to interview may need time to get used to the idea. They may be more open at a later date.  They may never agree to an interview; but they may open up and offer comments or stories here and there once they know you are interested. Be respectful of their silence if they choose not to answer your questions.

Still have questions?

If you have more questions about family history, or a time period or place your family once lived, contact us. We’d be happy to help.